I’ve learned a bit about myself while my wife has been away and a lot about our relationship as well, it’s been extremely refreshing, enlightening, and your usual standard realizations. Since she was going to be away for a month my wife jokingly (with a smidge of seriousness) to make sure I was “taken care of” like I didn’t reach adulthood without her. Naturally, my family was as dramatic as me… Thinkin I’d starve tp death in 3 days or something, but out of the people she told at least one made sure I was good or if I needed company. Everyone is busy here all the time, that’s the life… I’m usually too in my own head to move and on some occasions just function as I wish I could. The thing that has actually gotten me through a few weeks has been music and sometimes that helps with getting me into daily life.
I also have to figure out how to share those moments with my wife as well as not make it invasive. Invasive being her watching a show and me bass bumpin like she needs to focus on what I’m doing 🤣. She hears my music selections all the time, but I doubt I have asked her to vibe along. So there’s always moments in a relationship where you still need to make sure you offer yourself openly to your partner and trust they will join when they need to. One of the issues I’ve run into is my mood switching from introvert to extrovert when I have energy, and no one available to relax with. A lot of my activites are “me” related and it’s hard to open that space and not receive the feelings I hope for. No fault of anyone’s, but seeking energy from others will just leave you lonely. So I learned to enjoy where I’m at even if no one can enjoy it with me. So I keep wondering if I’m being selfish with my availability or if it’s worth it for others to just chill with me. You know, not seeking but attracting.
It’s difficult sometimes trying to find balance within while anxious of the decisions of others around you. The good news is I’m never without vibes at home, but the lack of being contacted by friends here is kinda exhausting. I don’t know if it makes sense, but it’s probably because I was used to just hanging out with different people and someone always wanted to just hang out. It’s one of those hard parts of getting older.
Something With Nothing 