Excellent question as always me. I have no idea why, but I can tell you a short story that solidifies that I’ve been this way for YEARS. This one actually has to do with my little brother being born, like we got to see him the next day (I think) kinda born. New car smell, all dat. I remember walking into the room and my mom holding him and I believe she asked me if I was happy or what’s wrong, and I told her that I was going to be ignored because there is another kid and I’m a middle child and statistically (pretty sure I didn’t say statistically, with my limited knowledge) I would be forgotten. Don’t remember if she laughed or was confused. Anyway, if we can just cut to a smash cut of me being classic middle child stereotypes that’d be great. Like, who says that after a kid is born? Anyway, I became not just a parent to him in some aspects, but also an example which I was not considering even though my older brother was an example for me. So if we can cut to a kid listening to my music, playing my games, perfecting his sarcasm, dressing way better than I was able to (90s-00s was gross for clothes), getting taller, having hair. *sigh* HAIR!
My critical thinking was always higher than anything I did in school and no one told me what I could do with that. “It won’t make you money” was usually the response I received or none whatsoever. What they didn’t tell me was that I could write, or speak, or influence, or lead. They didn’t tell me that I would be able to watch a tiny child turn into a taller, younger version of myself or that my ability to think unorthodox would make others feel safer in their version of reality. I mean was the go to words for weird kids by adults “you have so much potential”? My little brother has told me that I am an inspiration to him on multiple occassions… I haven’t done anything, and I’m broke as hell. Or I’m richer than most, I don’t know.
Something With Nothing 